Local Gossip Lover Prints

'I'd better go, Maggie - I don't want to get a parking ticket.'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'She's so put together!'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

A little bird told me...

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

JET (Part I)

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

18 Days Since the Last Embarrassing Off-Field Incident.

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

Pie chart of pub conversations

"Come on now answer the question, I want something that can be taken out of context and make the show go viral on twitter."

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

Emily Ratajkowski

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.