Humor In Housework Fan Pillows

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"And I suppose you forgot to bring home the milk."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"The blow drier is broken."

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

"Whoa - You're gonna need a whole new string!"

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

"I told you not to leave without taking out the garbage!"

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

"I can't sleep... it's too warm in here."

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

"Please don't go!"

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

Contractor Ants

'Oh, well done dear. I'll just go and clear a space in the freezer for it.'

'Your wife came by and left a message'

Ice Fishing

A baby biting a boys wristwatch

'Have a nice day, dear. . . no need to get up and make coffee.'

Did you remember the mousse?

'...All I can say is, the judge was adamant about his gag order on the case.'

'What was all that yelling outside?'

'I just find it interesting. You remember everything except where your dirty clothes go.'

"I only make that muck for you, I've ordered myself a pizza."