Humor Hitter Pillows

'Now look what you've done. I told you that I wanted a fair fight... making fun of his trunks is hitting below the belt.'

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'The circle is complete!'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Easter Island Cheeseheads

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

A Club Sandwitch.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Garden variety allergies."

Math Camp. I should have read the brochure more carefully before I signed up -- It says "Go on an add-venture and have sum fun"!

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

Spot Quiz....

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Burnout Syndrome...

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

"Nasty sunburn."

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.