Humor Hitter Pillows

'Now look what you've done. I told you that I wanted a fair fight... making fun of his trunks is hitting below the belt.'

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'The circle is complete!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

A Club Sandwitch.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Garden variety allergies."

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

Burnout Syndrome...

Spot Quiz....

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"Nasty sunburn."

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

Soccer coach of the year.

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"