Happy Hitter Pillows

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Lawnmower

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

Cake

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."

'It took years of therapy before I became the Bluebird of Happiness.'

'Where the hell's my app for happiness?'

"You've reached the consciousness-raising call center. For the meaning of life, press 1. For the secret to happiness, press 2. For the joke of the day, press 3."

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

'Money can't buy friendship.'-'Neither can poverty.'

"Dark energy's hard to detect because it's made from happiness."

"Frankly, it would be hard to beat being a bird flying around on such a glorious sunny day!"

'Actually, I came up here to get away from people asking me about the secret to happiness.'

Well done, I hear you hit your target. Yes, a week for two in Hawaii.

'Pursuit of happiness is all very well, but Congress keeps passing laws to make it run faster.'

'Anyone can get to school on time if he tries hard enough, Eddie.'

Emotional Support Dog

"Yup, one big happy family enjoying the great outdoors."

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

"If you're happy and you know it, stick with your dosage."

'If this doesn't release your endorphins, nothing will.'

Chasing Dreams.

'Now look what you've done. I told you that I wanted a fair fight... making fun of his trunks is hitting below the belt.'

"We can't insure your happiness, however we do offer an extended warranty on joie de vivre."

'All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.'

'The secret to happiness is to stay away from low-lying coastal areas which are most susceptible to storms from global warming.'

Feel good.

'Here comes the proud father, now!'

'How many effin times!? Skip Sedately!'

"Maybe Papi will believe it was a drive-by pitch."