Humor Enthusiast's Pick Pillows

"Same weight as you were in high school, great....now put the other foot on the scale too!"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Police Feline Unit

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Speed Dating for Turtles

Do Not Resuscitate

Cariactures

Faster, Georges, faster!

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Selling lemon latt�

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'Cannonball!'