Humor Enthusiast's Pick Pillows

"Same weight as you were in high school, great....now put the other foot on the scale too!"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Police Feline Unit

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Faster, Georges, faster!

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Selling lemon latt�

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Cariactures

Do Not Resuscitate

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Cannonball!'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'