Humor Blogger Gifts

Dogmaril...

Rich Cow

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

Press Freedom

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"Stinkin' fake news!"

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

Whoa

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Your lobster was off!

Snoopy with Laptop

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'She posted her first blog today.'

Ruddy bloggers!

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Multi-Tasking

'It's my favorite.'

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Sorry, but we're not compatible, Jim. You keep a diary, and I blog on the Internet.'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.