Humor At Own Expense Fan Gifts

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

The Snooze Bar.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Beer Parasol.

Tequila Mockingbird

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

No, I don

tRUMp, Pirate President

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

Girl in cow onesie.

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

The bird feeder.

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"Fish finder."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"