Economy Humor Fan Gifts

"Could you make it a dollar and a dime, sir? ? My agent gets 10%."

"What do you want to mention first, the senior defections, the profits warning or the aborted takeover talks?"

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

"I'd call it 'Inflation', not 'Bigamy'."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"Greetings, Earthling - Are you a worker or a drone?"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

Trickledown economics

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

The truth about the death of the Dinosaurs.

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We buy and sell them.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

Caution: Falling Businessmen - A Sign of the Times

Government Handouts.

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

With the economy as it is, even Santa Claus had to take on a second job as the Easter Bunny...

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes