Humidity Manager Gifts

"Perhaps you could turn the humidifier down just a bit, Dear!"

Let's get organized

The Solar System (after deregulation)

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

A Day In The Kitchen

"By labeling it, I control it."

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

Hassled Mother.

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

Separation Anxiety

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'I'm not sure my heart could take the excitement.'

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"I like keeping bees, but it's so hard keeping all their names straight."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

'It's not the global warming it's the humidity.'

"Did you remember to do everything I asked, even the small things I said in passing that didn't sound like real requests?"

A woman's work is never done!

The Complete Cycle.

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

'You're three o'clock cancelled, the Parson deal is ending, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

'That's my mom... she's sort of a CEO, an action committee, and a janitor all rolled up into one.'

'Really, it will be fine. Go home and give it a try. Wash lights with lights and darks with darks.'

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

'The complete computer home management system you bought says I should divorce you.'

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'