Humble Golf Student Gifts

"You've got it to go straight but you're facing the wrong direction."

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

The Amateur Golfer

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

Clock Face Golf Set

Hole in forty-seven.

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'Where's your other glove?'

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

The Golfer Gardener

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

"Hold on ! Hold on! When you said you'd played this game before at school...."

Too many beers at lunch?

Golf Crime Scene.

Luckily I hit the pin!

'We're looking for missionaries to cover the golf courses and shopping malls.'

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

'Ms. Brown memo to all staff:'FORE'.'

'What club do you think I should use? I don't know sir, I don't play golf either'

"My kind of course."

'Once again, Stuart was heading the leaderboard at the office golf open'

Using Science In Fashion Design

'T.M., have you ever considered taking up golf like most executives?'

"Sorry Dick. I kinda sliced that one."