Human Vices Pillows

Drunk Monk - Out of Order

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

Sauce for the Goose

Scarpia from Tosca

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

Now showing, at a University near you...

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

The Map of the Human Heart

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

More Pardons

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

The World's Most Evil Mastermind (and a man sitting in a chair).

Mexican Seasoning Mix Mines / Polynesian Sauce Works

"Numerous complaints have led school officials to investigate this popular teacher for encouraging students to pursue degrees in the humanities."

'It's true: I played the Villain's cat in a number of James Bond movies...'

Specialising in Multiple Personality Disorder

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

"In my first creation I made man introspective, peaceful and considerate. It was sooo boring."

"Freud said love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness, but human mess is equally true."

The institute.

Ever since I was a calf, I've always wanted my own henchman!

English major will work for food.

Sigmund Freud

"You'd think a Humanities professor would be more lenient in her grading."

Old Darth Vader

"He may be evil, but his breath is like air conditioning."

Hugs.

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

'If Jesus died to forgive our sins, the least we can do is commit a few.'