Human Therapist T-Shirts

"How long have you been suffering from anthropomorphism?"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

What the Doctor Ordered

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"