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"Lassie! Get help!!"

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

"You're doing a great job as a corporate psychiatrist, but would you please keep your hands off the workaholics."

"I think that's the last of them!"

"They moved my bowl."

"These feelings of inadequacy are common among the inadequate."

"...And how do you feel once you've had a hissy fit."

Attention Deficit Disorder Anonymous.

"You must learn to let go."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'That's part of out in-house, stress management program...'

"You're not crazy. You want crazy?"

"Look, you're not the only one with problems."

'I know, let's try role reversal. I'll drone on and on about my miserable life and we'll see how you like it.'

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

'Whatever it is, I didn't do it.'

'Took your advice and decided to face my fears. I still get panic attacks, but at least now there's a darn good reason.'

"Frankly, I've repressed my sexuality so long I've actually forgotten what my orientation is."

'I've got a moral dilemma here -- Mr. Zimmerman really needs the sleep, but it's costing him $175.00 an hour.'

"You haven't a clue what I'm talking about, do you?"

'...And for future reference, Mr. Glynn, you don't need to 'get in character' for regression therapy.'

"When did you start thinking there might be something wrong with you?" "When you told me!"

Psychiatrist with a patient who is hiding under the couch.

'My dealer keeps asking me these stupid questions!'

'I need help in being able to ask for help.' - 'Okay, you need help.'

"Tell me about your anger problem - what sort of things set you off?"

'Don't worry about it. You're buying compulsion is perfectly normal.'

"Now, we can get all those repressed memories the easy way or the hard way."

An obsession with drugs,delusions of power,paranoid tendencies...still enough about me what can I do for you?

'Your ego seems to be your primary problem.'

Aromatherapy.

'I've always been a perfectionist - just not a very good one.'

"First, I did things for my parents' approval, then I did things for my parents' disapproval, and now I don't know why I do things."