Therapist Enthusiast T-Shirts

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"Lately life is just a bed of neuroses."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Couples' therapy

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

X-ray Psychology.

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'We have three minutes left.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'I hate Mondays.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"