Human Resources Worker Gifts

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

"On the upside, you still have a couple of months' accrued vacation pay."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Staff support"

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Inclusive speech

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."