Human Resources Officer Pillows

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."

"Tell me more about the years you spent in formaldehyde at Area 51."

"You're hired! We need someone like you to encourage humor in the workplace."

"Right we need an urgent response to our productivity problems..."

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

Interview at Novox Winery Inc.

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"We haven't decided yet but you're still in the running."

Stop Sexual Exploitation At Work!

"If you're wondering why your paycheck is so small, we deducted health insurance, your 401k,and with taxes, well, it's just enough to cover gas to get here."

"We're offering a competitive salary that should easily offset the fact that you'll probably despise everyone you'll be working with."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Staff support"

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'