Human Resources Coordinator Pillows

'According to this financial report, not only will you not get the raise you asked for, but you won't be getting paid this week.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Staff support"

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

Inclusive speech

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

The best financial decision I ever made.

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"