Human Interaction Enthusiast Pillows

If they replace one more man with a computer, I'm leaving!

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

"I see a psychiatrist holding a Rorschach test."

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

Hugs and knucklebumps don't mix.

"No thanks, I don't need an electronic voice-activated assistant. I have a human one."

"OK, now take one with mine."

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."

"I can't take the job in customer relations. I hate the customers. How can I possibly deal with their relatives?"

"Amidst all of the devastation, it's important to find love."

"Do you think she's just playing 'hard to get'?"

A man and a woman at a house party

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

"Face book suggests we be friends."

faceless person holding balloon heads.

"We can kiss, but no tongue."

Mouse escaping a cat.

'Isn't it amazing just how quickly an 'us' and 'them' scenario develops?'

'Unconscious ' person on street (part of psychology experiment)

'If I buy ten pints and a dozen eggs will you snog me?'

"You have to get out more. Make new enemies."

'I was just looking at you and wondering what my grandchildren would look like if you and my daughter started dating again, fell in love, got married and had some!'

"Nice to meet you. I only date during the off-season"

"I hate these tablets - when I dine out I want a waiter I can snap at!"

'I don't think he's finished his 'customer care' training.'

"I think of you as being enormously alive."

Somebody Needs a Hug!

'I don't mind taling during sex, but must you chat on-line?'

Estate Agent - '...And the area boasts a thriving on-line community.'

"Hey, I saw you dressing me with your eyes!"

"Excuse me, young man, where's the manager?"

'I'd invite you in, but really, this is a stranger's house I'm entering just to get away from you.'