Human Authenticity Enthusiasts Pillows

"It's a birth certificate - not a certificate of authenticity."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

What Does God Know?

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

'At least he's honest.'

Life stripped bare

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

"It pains me to tell you this, but it ain't broke."

"Authenticity, little buddy. That's the secret to success in love, in the workplace... in everything."

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

Codependipity.

"When do I get my phone call"

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

Introducing Honest Abe Cards

"To be honest we can't afford to be honest."

Do I really offend people all the time? You're too honest. People are different from other animals. Other animals like the truth, but people are very touchy. They like their information sugar-coated. Do you see? But what about Dr. Phil? Precisely. He's almost certainly part jungle creature.

'Why honest is the best policy...'

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

'What does my dad do? Anything Mum tells him.'

"I want to explore the brutal and true civilisation, to explore lands on troubled by tourist boards, and if you could sort five-star accommodation and decent Wi-Fi that would be perfect."

'Joe's Junk Food.' 'At least he's honest.'

'Your resume says, you are lazy, stupid, incompetent, useless, and a nitwit. You're hired, I like an honest man.'

"I'm trying to be myself and you're not helping."

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

"It's important to be authentic"

'When I asked for your honest opinion of me, I didn't expect you to be THAT honest!'

She looked even better in person. Although she might be Photoshopped.