Human Authenticity Enthusiasts Pillows

"It's a birth certificate - not a certificate of authenticity."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

'At least he's honest.'

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"It pains me to tell you this, but it ain't broke."

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

"Authenticity, little buddy. That's the secret to success in love, in the workplace... in everything."

Codependipity.

"When do I get my phone call"

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

Introducing Honest Abe Cards

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

'Why honest is the best policy...'

"To be honest we can't afford to be honest."

'What does my dad do? Anything Mum tells him.'

"I want to explore the brutal and true civilisation, to explore lands on troubled by tourist boards, and if you could sort five-star accommodation and decent Wi-Fi that would be perfect."

'Your resume says, you are lazy, stupid, incompetent, useless, and a nitwit. You're hired, I like an honest man.'

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

"I'm trying to be myself and you're not helping."

'Joe's Junk Food.' 'At least he's honest.'

'When I asked for your honest opinion of me, I didn't expect you to be THAT honest!'