Hr Representative Gifts

"We've invested heavily - If not always wisely - In talent."

'it's the field office.'

"Am I passionate about fashion? Yep, I guess you could say I'm fashionate."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This position has become very important to the company."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"My email is down... talk to me."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

Others will fight for you

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."