Hr Comedy Fan Gifts

"I just want to thank you for being the three people we never hired."

"Your qualification are impeccable, Ms Jones, but here at Anderson, Bennet, Cavendish and Diehl, we're really looking for a last name starting with 'E'."

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Yes, can I help you?'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"I appreciate the effort Carl, but I don't think you understand the swarm concept."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

"Greetings, Earthling - Are you a worker or a drone?"

Girl in cow onesie.

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

"I've downloaded an app to hire and fire people."

"Benign so far."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I've got an exciting new assignment for you. You're going to share one salary.'

"I have to say candidate two made a very good impression."

Giving feedback is a complex process.

'It's your four basic food groups.'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

"Look at them over there, looking all smug with their clients and accounts and stuff."