Hr Buff Pillows

"Um...you didn't completely fill in your job application."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'Yes, can I help you?'

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'Apparently you can't fire everybody and still maintain productivity.'

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'When you look at me do you see a woman or a senior partner?'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

"I've downloaded an app to hire and fire people."

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

'I'm sorry, but you have a very impressive resume, and at this company, we find competence threatening.'

"I hope it indicates a quick promotion."

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'We need to recruit some young MBA people. All of us young turks have become old turkeys.'

'We're looking for someone who can multitask - but not during the interview.'

'You're hired. Go figure.'

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

"But we've been interviewing like this for years...why would we want to change now?"

'I feel a leader should be approachable.'

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

PERSONNEL, 'Do we have a health plan? Why -- Don't you feel well?'