Housework Ninja Pillows

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

When laundry ruled the waves.

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

A DIY disaster.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Your computer has every alert, alarm and reminder possible...enough with the sticky notes!!!

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

Washing Line Walker

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'But you said to clean my room.'

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

'Ah, the Bermuda Rectangle for files.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

Sif instantly regretted asking Thor to hang the picture.

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'