Housework Enthusiast Pillows

'You need a press officer!'

"If you get the urge to clean up the house while I'm at work...don't fight it."

"How did you get him to do housework?"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

Washing Line Walker

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'But you said to clean my room.'

Your Home Remodel Team

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Wallpapering with Nails

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."