Housework Enthusiast Pillows

'You need a press officer!'

"If you get the urge to clean up the house while I'm at work...don't fight it."

"How did you get him to do housework?"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

A DIY disaster.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Washing Line Walker

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'But you said to clean my room.'

Your Home Remodel Team

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Wallpapering with Nails

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Sif instantly regretted asking Thor to hang the picture.

'How should I know how things are at home, I moved into the pub a month ago.'

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'