Housewarming With Pets Pillows

'I've finally learned to delegate.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Tartine

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"I didn't spark joy."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

Biofelineism

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Second hand furniture.

Man using to much bug spray

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'Super Dog'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"