Houseplant Therapist Gifts

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

Thanks

Money Plant.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"This one looks as though it could use a little nurturing."

House plants

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

What your house plant says about you...

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

The Houseplant Cemetery.

'Oh yes I talk to them all the time. Except the aspidistra. Not since the argument.'

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

Being-convinced your plants always know what you're thinking phobia.

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

Person Who Shouldn't Get Married

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

House Plant Party

The Houseplants vs The Kids

In the houseplant cemetery.

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

Garden Centre

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"

"You spoil that plant!"