Houseplant Collector T-Shirts

Annuals - Perennials - Eternals

The Ugly Plant

'Don't you talk back to me like that!'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

Thanks

Money Plant.

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"This one looks as though it could use a little nurturing."

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

House plants

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

What your house plant says about you...

The Houseplant Cemetery.

Employee of the month...

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

Being-convinced your plants always know what you're thinking phobia.

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'