Household Expense Strategist Pillows

"He's something new. Our phone bill now has a monthly stub perforation fee."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Will work for ETFs

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

Investing your savings

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

"Expense account or regular?"

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

Keep the econoimy moving

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

The early days of Warren Buffett.

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."