Household Dynamics Appreciator Pillows

'Now, our master is always polite and leaves the seat up for us, not like our Mistress...'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

The revenge of Russell

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Plays well with other people's $.

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

'One day I just decided, screw it - I'm as rich as hell and I'm not going to fake it anymore.'

'Dear, would it be all right if I was assertive for a minute?'

'Thank you, my dear, for taking the runt of my litter in holy matrimony...'

"I'm sorry, Dad. What I did was really stupid, selfish and wrong."

"Your tech gadgets will become obsolete, but the nice thing about money is it never goes out of style."

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

'Creative right?'

'Any chance of getting a financial advance on my loose tooth?'

Sex Equality

Deep pockets on line two.

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

'No, but next week, the fireworks start in earnest.'

'I liked being a millionaire before everyone became one.'

"My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend and all I got was a new therapist."

Herbert can't read, Janice can't jump, but together they can rule the world!

'That's not cologne. I was just rolling around in our huge cash reserves.'

L. $. G. F. E. S. What has he got that I haven't got?

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

"My parents are at the age where they're very involved with their own activities."