Household Chore Delegate Pillows

'Why do you never change these things out when they're empty? They're not an infinite scroll.'

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"I'm training him to do chores."

"Just empty it."

"Oh, gosh. . . he's sleep caulking again."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

Displacement activities for people who work from home...

Professional Dishwasher Loading Championship

"Does he like those shorts you bought him for Christmas?"

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

Tunnel of Laundry.

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

"Oh, there's your problem—twenty years of resentment at having to do the dishes."

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

"Laundry day?"

Presents.

'Because you told me to run the house like a business.'