Domestic Chore Debater Pillows

"Laundry, goodness no. I'm washing my golf balls."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Always Compatible

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"You might want to save that for your blog."

Before he was taken away, Dr. Stuart Trust was the last known doctor to make HOUSE CALLS.

'My wife gave me that one for washing the windows.'

"And now your General Knowledge Round...Where does clean laundry come from?"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

'I didn't even know she was angry until she started shooting.'

"Did you say something? I thought I heard a sound bite."

Wife taking a photo of her husband and their shoveled walk-way

'Shall I fry it or flush it?'

"Oh, gosh. . . he's sleep caulking again."

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

"Have we got time for a quick argument before our programme starts..?"

Going Shopping Together.

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

You mean none of you took out the trash? Why you rarely see a female polygamist.

'...and don't you dare turn the volume up at me!'

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"Surely I'm allowed an opinion!"

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

'Why do you never change these things out when they're empty? They're not an infinite scroll.'

Food Wars: "Thrilla in Peekskilla"

"We also argue about which way the toilet paper roll should hang."

Tunnel of Laundry.