House-tidying Multitasker Pillows

'I know I shouldn't use it as a babysitter but it's the only way I can get any housework done.'

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Hassled Mother.

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

"That loft has needed sorting out for years, at least you've had time to do the job properly!!"

Super glue hoovering

There's so many things I should be doing that when I procrastinate, I'm multitasking.

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"Parting the clutter in your room isn't the same as cleaning it, Moses."

'Yes, yes, I get the symbolism, Mr. Sanchez. You can wear many hats. Very clever.'

"How many times did I tell you? Don't put the outdated chargers in the drawer for broken headphones."

I'd clean this place up in 10 minutes. Yeah right. What's that you say? I fold laundry in my sleep. You're talking crazy to a man who can hem his wife's stockings while baking bread. Listen up close. Before my wife got home today, I scrubbed the bathroom tile, made a peach pie, sent out thank-you notes, fixed the kids grilled cheese and repotted the begonia. Now what do you think of that, pansy!? How liberated men compete. Don't make me knit something! I will get busy on you with a dust buster.

Octopus Parent

Why Nature Abhors A Vacuum

Woman Knitting With Her Feet.

"You got this!! Just three more! You're crushing it!!"

Hell's Restrooms.

"Talk to me while I ignore you."

"I need a smaller brush-head to get between his feet and the armchair."

'Is she teething again?'

Dr. McWit likes to show off his multitasking skills.

A woman types with her feet while drinking tea.

Multipurpose car

'I'm a doctor, lawyer, and your congressman. Are you a patient, client, or constituent?'

Vacuuming.

"I prefer sawn-off arrows. They double up as knitting needles for the wife.2

How the cords get all tangled up when you're away.

"Overall, your performance review is good, although I wonder if you are taking your job seriously enough."

"To overcome your fear of vacuum cleaners, we'll start with a dustbuster and work our way up."

Blast those wildcat actions!

"How much would you charge to get my husband to love taking out the garbage?"

'On a scale of 1 to 10 how irritating do I find telephone surveys?...'