House-selling Striver Gifts

I see you're still having trouble selling your house. Home, @#$% home.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

So...this is the roommate. Awkward...

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

Monopoly game - "You just gazumped me!"

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

The housing market begins to deflate.

"I think they're trying to tell us we've stayed to long."

Harris Realty We Make House Calls

'It's a dump, but it's a steal at this price.'

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

'Location, location, location.'

The Movers Strip - Coffee table reading

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

Whatever you're thinking of buying, we promise to make you feel slightly inferior.

Real estate salesman.

'Empty-nesters. They're hoping to sell before the flock tries to move back in.'

'Is this the open house?'

'...There's been a 20% rise in the length of time our house been on the market'

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

Ceiling collapse 'Don't worry, that's just settlement.'

I sold my house and my landlord's furious!

House auction. Door knocker is gavel 'Going, going.'

'Deal or no deal?'

'Damp. What damp?'

"Yes the view is nice, but I mostly want people to look up here and think how rich I am."

'Now this is home just went on the market this morning.'

'After the yard sale and then the garage sale, it was the next logical step.'

Real estate agency: 'You know, Thomas Jefferson bought this same property in `80` for 3 cents an acre.'