House Project Planner Gifts

Clear construction agreements are important.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

God's Subcontractors

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

Waiting for retirement.

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

We're putting on a subtraction.

D.I.Y with dad.

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

"I'd love to sit down and discuss my project with you some time. Let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you."

Artex cartoon

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

The Best Laid Plans

"Shall I kiss it better?"

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

I talked my new client into an eco-landscape. Well done. Walls using local stone. Native trees and plants. Plus

"I've downsized."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

Eggshell blue

We thought we'd put in the detail later.

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

'Nice going, Mom.You ate my entire insect collection. Now I'll fail biology class at school.'

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

From Ant Farm to Ant Condo

I'm building a new house here. To my owner over there it's a "pet project." Of course to me, it's just "a project."

'I'm sorry your love seat project failed but at least it makes a romantic fire.'