House By The Sea T-Shirts

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'We'll take it!'

Open House of Horrors

"Summer Reading Group"

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

High tide.

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'It is a huge property, originally built by a Condor: Perfect for a large family...'

'They had a sale on electric green.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

Wolf Watching the Sunset

"Architectural Digest calls it 'Twilight chic.'"

"Not too big a garden-my wife tires easily!"

'...and you may notice a few of the previous owner's personal touches.'

"And the kitchen is ideal for people who like to eat out."

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."