House By The Sea Gifts

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'We'll take it!'

Open House of Horrors

"Summer Reading Group"

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

High tide.

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'It is a huge property, originally built by a Condor: Perfect for a large family...'

'They had a sale on electric green.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

Wolf Watching the Sunset

"Architectural Digest calls it 'Twilight chic.'"

"Not too big a garden-my wife tires easily!"

'...and you may notice a few of the previous owner's personal touches.'

"And the kitchen is ideal for people who like to eat out."

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."