House Browsing Hobbyist Pillows

Whatever you're thinking of buying, we promise to make you feel slightly inferior.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

Real Estate Personals

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'They're playing house.'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

UP Again: Housing Prices.

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

New Homes

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

Turtle Eviction

"We're interested in a five bath, one bedroom that's on the water."

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

Homes of the font designers

For Sale, just to find the true value.

Man in house with no roof on phone to estate agent: "Look, this house is unfinished. Please stop saying, 'It gets a lot of light'."

"I'm looking for something with more closet space."

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

"It's perfect."

Repossessed Properties.

The Old Woman in the Shoe's summer home.

'For sale'

'Oh darling, isn't it just so sweet?!'

The Movers Strip - Selling houses over the internet

"Is it me or is this mini home trend getting out of control?"

"The seller is highly unmotivated."

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

'We're being foreclosed on. We're going to have to relocate to a loafer.'

'She'll come round to the idea of a Granny Flat eventually.'