Home Exploration Enthusiast Pillows

"The house has a very open floor plan."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"I didn't spark joy."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

A DIY disaster.

Captain steering house through flood.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Your Home Remodel Team

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"Of course I discovered America... My marketing team said so."

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Wallpapering with Nails

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

Rainbow/Horizon

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"They've got insulation to die for!"

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"

Living together, couple in love.

On board the MS Hepatology

House Painter gets stuck to the ceiling.