Hotel Operator Pillows

'Hello, hotel operator? I'll be requiring an immediate room change.'

"First class, or with children?"

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'Now here's a place I like!'

Atomic Bear: Part 22

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"I see the downsizing continues."

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Birds talking about package holiday makers - "Amazing how they find there way back every year."

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

The Suite Hereafter

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

Mini Bar

"I'll check and see if he's available."

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

No early morning tea past this landing

Thermidor Dali

Biliard Enthusiast

'Bed & Bagel'

Special! Continental breakfast...$3.99: 'What continent is this suppose to represent - Antarctica!'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

'What if I promise not to look?'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'