Hotel Escapade Storyteller T-Shirts

"How much are we supposed to tip the guy who followed us to our room and flicked the light switch?"

'What zip code are we in now?'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Sparkling Water

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

Airplane food

Leaning Tower of Pisa

Airliner

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

'Please all just sit down and fasten your seat belts!!'

'What's the fuss? It looks okay to me.'

Staycation Photos

'How was your holiday?'

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

Sunbathing Easter Island Heads

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

London summer.

Securing a Magnificent Salmon.

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

Shoppers

Room service.

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

"Who wants to go first?"