Hotel Concierge Pillows

"To avoid crowds, visit places that are less crowded."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Valet park only"

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

The Suite Hereafter

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Mini Bar

'What if I promise not to look?'

Bed and Breakfast

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

A doorman fires a gun into the air.

'Bed & Bagel'

Special! Continental breakfast...$3.99: 'What continent is this suppose to represent - Antarctica!'

'No Sir, it's not sunny here all the time. Never at night.'

No early morning tea past this landing

"Can you just recommend something? Neither of us can possibly focus long enough to read a menu."

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

"When offering the wine list, we don't say, 'Something to wash that down with'!"

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

The trips postponed by La Covid continue

Gratuities: Fine presumptuous dining.

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

'Rest assured, this hotel is second to none in providing for all the creature comforts.'