Hotel Collector T-Shirts

"What would you say to doing our divorce at the St. Regis?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"Nuts to you, too."

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Do you buy cars here?"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'It seats two comfortably.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Posh Easter Egg

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'Try his land line.'

Utility Chic.

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

Acme Flyswatters.

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."