Hospitality Specialist Pillows

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'I sent out for everything.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Cardiac Recovery.

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"Valet park only"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Prawn Cocktail Please

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

The Suite Hereafter

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

Mini Bar

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."