Hospitality Specialist T-Shirts

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Cardiac Recovery.

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Prawn Cocktail Please

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"Valet park only"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

The Suite Hereafter

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

Mini Bar

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."