Hospital Visits With A Twist Gifts

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Barbeque Casualty.

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Being Serenading in Casualty

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

Hospital Departments

Hospital.

"She's in room 334 but she's only allowed to see people who haven't annoyed her for 15 years."

"So what brings you in today?"

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"Are they called 'x-rays' because the alphabet wasn't finished when they were invented?"

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

The Children's Hospital

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"Will he be okay?"

"The good news is the frustration of filling out all this paperwork will keep your mind off your pain."

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'...Do you have an appointment...?'

Second Opinion