Hospital Stories Aficionado T-Shirts

'The good news is, we were able to save your leg'.

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

Being Serenading in Casualty

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

'You can have general anesthesia or just be numbed from the wallet down.'

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

'Don't get any ideas, mister -- I recognize that look in your eye!'

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

Hospital Visit

'We've talked it over, and we've decided to hold you for observation.'

Fertility Center.

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

"Dead! How do you know he's dead? You're a dermatologist."

"C'mon, walk it off!"

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

"Okay - which one of us is talking now?"

"Since laughter is the best medicine, I'm downloading the Laugh-Track App."

"Do you have someone to drive you home after your surgery? My car's in the shop and I could really use a ride."

'It's going to take me ten hours to read your care instructions and your insurance only covers an hour of care.'

'Lunch!'

"Your wife says she's experiencing nausea. Could you leave the room?"