Hospital Havoc Lover Gifts

'You said to remove his head and neck!...

Providing Healthcare For All

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

'Urology...can you hold?'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

Paramedics.

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Too much Inflammation

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

'When you said I had to come in for a scan, this isn't what I had in mind.'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

"Try and get some rest and in a week or two we'll put your brain back in."

'Which arrow points to my office?'

'Before your 'routine' surgery, your manager would like to stop by and give you a 'routine' exit interview.'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I can't turn it off.'

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

'For god's sake Walters, wait until the patient is fully anesthetized before going through his wallet.'

"Mr. Marshand, wake up – your MRI is over! Mr. Marshand!!"

"Your tests look normal, but that's what the disease wants us to think."

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

'We abide by HIPAA laws to protect your privacy.'

'All right, so he dropped the heart. The floor is clean.'

"Next time you want me to swallow a camera, just wrap it in bacon!"