Hospital Happenings Lover Gifts

'We've been keeping him alive by telling him the market is up.'

Providing Healthcare For All

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

'Urology...can you hold?'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

Too much Inflammation

Paramedics.

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

'When you said I had to come in for a scan, this isn't what I had in mind.'

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

"Try and get some rest and in a week or two we'll put your brain back in."

'Before your 'routine' surgery, your manager would like to stop by and give you a 'routine' exit interview.'

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

"When you awake you will feel fine, you will have no pain, and... Oh, what the hell... you will cluck like a chicken for ten seconds."

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

'It's just a precaution, the anesthetist can't find his wedding ring.'

'For god's sake Walters, wait until the patient is fully anesthetized before going through his wallet.'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I can't turn it off.'

"Your tests look normal, but that's what the disease wants us to think."

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

"Mr. Marshand, wake up – your MRI is over! Mr. Marshand!!"

'We abide by HIPAA laws to protect your privacy.'

'All right, so he dropped the heart. The floor is clean.'

"The mood Disorders Clinic is three floors up, and then two floors down."

'It's a simple operation. You'll be good as old in no time.'

Ward Cleaning.