Horsey Banter Enthusiast Gifts

'Mom! Hunter keeps saying I'm not a thoroughbred. Can you show him my papers?'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

The Art of Bantering!

"Hey Eric. Do you think they're silicone implants?"

'You're looking well.'

"I was listening at the door and I overheard the nickname they have for me."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"Let's go bowling and keep on bowling until the people who regulate bowling say it isn't bowling any more!"

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"I don't know—my gut tells me I should have another beer."

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

Park statues horse and rider.

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

'Of course my wife understands me-that's why she's divorcing me!'

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

Subtitle Guessing

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

"What does 'giddyup' even mean?"

"Sure he's handsome. . . But I've heard he's hung like a human."