Horseback Philosopher T-Shirts

"And now..the sermon on the mount."

'You lifted your head.'

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

Winter Weather.

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

Chicken: the one-man show

'Existential truckstop'

'Violence solves everything...'

'A wise hermit? ME?? Ribbish!! I sprained my darn ankle by climbing up here and now I can't get down anymore!'

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...oh, hell, give me another one!'

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

'Nothing against you, Dad, but I'd rather be a POLITICAL pundit.'

Is there life after digestion?

"Because its there? Surely we must have a better reason."

Hell's Ethics

'What a beautiful landscape!'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

Metaphysical Bike Parts.

'I haven't had my day and I don't know any dog who has.'

'You are now entering Samville. Samville needs a ride.'

'Oh well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'

"Ah...Good morning Sir, we're from the 'couldn't give a toss party."

"I have a great idea for you, but naturally you're nowhere near your writing desk."

Mid-Lawn Crisis!

It's not the destination, but the journey that counts. Unless you're stuck in traffic. Then it's the destination.

Tunnel of Life

'Now, the first thing is for you to extinguish your ego.' 'What? -- little old me?'

"I disagree with a lot of the way he herds."

"No, not really. I could probably tell you a thing or two about the meaning of life but I would like to know where the loo is."